new things that ive learned

I learned certain new thing about babies that i never knew until i have one.

1. They farted. Big one. In front of the crowd yang taktau yang might mistaken you, the person near the baby as the guilty one yang 'ter' kentut besar and salahkan baby. haha

2. They can detect their mother by her smell as their vision is quite blurry for 2-3months of their existence. So when they started to see, be orepared when they only want to be hold by certain people only ( mother, father, grandmother, grandfather etc2).  It seems that my daughter cries when stranger hold her for a long time. Dah kenal bau, maybe..

3. They cries when they're
     a.  hungry
     b.  sleepy
     c.  having colic
     d.  wanted their diaper to be changed.
     e.  wanted to be hugged (this may apply to certain babies; mine)

4. They make faces when they wanted to sleep. Be prepared with you cameras. Haha. Why? because they will smile, pouting etc2)

5. They could make your heart melt by just seeing they smile or sleeping peacefully

the greatest gift from Allah S.W.T

Alhamdullillah syukur ke hadrat ilahi, i'm officially a mother of a beautiful baby girl i*ve ever seen (eceh anak sendiri kan. tanya mana2 mak pon, their child will be the cutest child compare to others. *bias mode on**) on 17 September 2012,

After all the pain, dissapointment , Allah S.W.T granted us, my husband and i this child. I find out i was pregnant early this year and to be frankly, i didnt tell that i'm pregnant to everyone. Even my bestfriend knows when i was almost 3 months of pregnancy.

If i were asked why didnt i announce that i was pregnant, my answer is that i'm still scared ifwhat had happen on previous pregnancy and i'm tired of answering and listening of what people had to say when i miscarried last year. Frankly, i can bear all the pain being poke and so on but i refuse to hear others opinion ot so called condolences

Eh apa ni, buat apa cerita kisah lalu. Let bygones be bygones, isnt it. Allah has granted me a beautiful child. Betullah, setiap perkara yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Alhamdullillah.. Eill tell more on the journey of motherhood. Barulah sekarang betul2 tau kenapa kita kena hormat mak 3 kali sebelum ayah..hehe

;)

what i did when my husband is coming home..wohoooo..tp lepas wat melepek habis..macamane org yang meniaga tu ye..

Musim buah

 Sekarang musim buah durian n rambutan kan.. Terasa air liur meleleh craving for all this fruits..

manggis

durian

pulasan

Tips untuk bapa menyusukan anak ketika ibu tiada di rumah

Untuk bapa-bapa di luar sana yang mengalami masalah untuk menyusukan anak ketika si isteri keluar, boleh cuba cara di bawah..hahaha

Makanan & permainan yang mengamit masa lalu..

Have you guys eat this during your childhood?

or this?

Beli tora/dingdang untuk dapat permainan yang ntahpape dalam tu..

or play this? tiup2 keluar belon..hehe

main batu seremban?

Main congkak?

I have. And i miss all this stuff. Budak-budak sekarang main game dalam ipad, ps3 and others. Dulu, kalau beli ding dang or tora, lebih kepada nak tengok dapat permainan apa dalam tu. Then makan biskut coklat die yang kecik-kecik tu macam sangat nikmat. hehe. Kalau makan & main permainan yang kita pernah main masa kecil dulu orang akan cakap kita buang tebiat tak? Terasa nak pegi beli ding dang and tora, main batu seremban and congkak sekarang jugak..

Makanan johor

I went to Johor Bahru last thursday for a business matching that organized by MITI. Being there, meeting with a several of people make me learned more on human behaviour. Eceh macam phyciatrictrist pulak. But seriously, meeting others changde my perspective in so many things. Some introduced me their product, what it is and everything but some show me how they try to change the world with their product. Either way, this is not the story i wanted to tell.

I sat with some VIPs while having breakfast. I think he's from one of the department that gave loan to bumiputera to start their business. He told that some people who took loan from them were fine but there's some that his staff encounter where when they went to asked for repayment, they show their gun and whatsoever. My reaction? Gilos. Dah pinjam duit orang, kalau tak boleh bayar, mintaklah masa. Tak payahla ugut-ugut tunjuk pistol, parang segala.

But the main story is not that.. hehe. While talking with him, he asked where we came from. My sister and I answer, subang. He said that he has cousin who lives in subang. He said that he often travel to KL and so on. And he said, " Tak tau kenapa tapi pergi mana-mana, makan tu macam susah nak terima. Walaupon masak lauk sama ke apa, tapi agaknya sebab saya orang johor, tekak dah biasa makan masakan johor and orang johor masak, rasa lain je.. Kalau nak rasa sama, makan kedai mamak kat sini, then compare kat sana, memang samalah.. Kalau tak, macam rasa tak sama je makan kat KL dengan kat sini.."

My answer, "aah paham2, suami saya orang johor pon macam tu..." haha

Tapi betul lah, bila saya makan kat johor especially area2 kampung encik suami, memang sedap. Mungkin sebab ada makanan yang takde kat sini. Macam masak lemak pecel, sambal godok, etc2. Tapi mungkin sebab orang johor pandai masak. Bila balik kampung or makan kat rumah kakak ipar, saya memang makan banyak. Sebab kakak ipar saya pandai masak. Haha bodek je lebih. Tapi betul... Haih...terasa nak makan nasi ambeng.. Tak tercapai lagi hajat..Takpe2, encik suami akan dikerah cari nasi ambeng..hehehehe

Just to share

I found this through internet and i remember that i always recite the same doa before i get married. Doa ni sesuai diamalkan untuk mereka yang belum berkahwin dan ingin berkahwin dengan pasangannya. Yang dah berkahwin pon boleh amalkan.

Alhamdullillah, i think it works tapi semuanya kuasa Allah. Before i got married, my officemate recommend me to recite this doa because she said that she recite it after solat, dan semakin dia doa, semakin rapat dia dengan pasangannya. Andai kata kita dah baca doa ni, kita tawakal dan berserah kepada Allah dan nampak seperti kita dijauhkan dari pasangan itu, tidak kiralah bagaimana cara sekalipon, kita bertemu orang lain, ataupon halangan keluarga atau bagaimana sekalipon, redha lah. Sesungguhnya Allah lebih mengetahui. Kadangkala kita rasa pasangan/benda itu baik untuk kita, dah perfect dari pelbagai segi, agama etc2 tapi sebenarnya Allah tahu pasangan/benda itu tidak baik untuk kita. Kadangkala bila kita rasa pasangan/benda itu tidak baik untuk kita, tapi sebaliknya pasangan/benda itu yang terbaik untuk kita dari pandangan Allah.

Ni sebahagian doa yang saya baca, saya tambah setelah ayat di atas,

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku

Seandainya Dia bukan milikku dan terlahir untukku

Jauhkanlah kami,

Berilah petunjuk kepadaku siapa yang jadi milikku dan terlahir untukku

Redhakanlah hati ini untuk menerima siapa jodohku

Sesungguhnya Engkau Yang Maha mengetahui

Waallahualam..

New experience

Yesterday i went to sent my cousin to his engagement at jalan klang lama. And this is my first time of learning about pakistan culture. Since my cousin's fiancee tu ada blood pakistan, their culture is quite different with what i've experienced. To them, engagement is something big. And they didnt accept duit hantaran whatsoever. Pelik kan.

Bila sampai rumah pihak perempuan, we were welcomed with 'balingan bunga rampai'. Ala, gaya2 ala macam yang dalam cerita kita tengok dalam cerita hindustan yang bila ada pihak datang, diorang baling sort of bunga rampai etc2..

Kalau ikut culture melayu bila bertunang, lelaki selalunya tak masuk rumah dulu. Bila habis berbincang barulah lelaki tu masuk. Malah, ada yang lelaki tu tak datang langsung. But with their culture, lelaki tu siap masuk rumah and duduk sekali.

Bila semua da pihak lelaki dah duduk and settle down, my first thought is berbincang dulu. What happen is, bacaan doa dari pihak perempuan. My thought was, 'eyh, kalo culture kita, berbincang2 dulu then bila semua dah capai persetujuan barulah baca doa tanda kesyukuran. Mungkin baca doa dulu kot. Baru berbincang.'

So next, habis baca doa, keluarga perempuan jemput pergi makan kat luar. Ok, saya dah pelik di situ. Takde bincang-bincang ke? Mungkin sebab dah tengahari, jadi jemput makan dulu baru bincang. So pergilah makan. And memula i wonder what they will serve sebab my aunt cakap diorang ni pandai buat capati. Sedap sangat. So tengok-tengok nasi beriani. Bila tengok lauk, ada ayam goreng berempah, ayam bakar, and kambing masak apa saya pon taktau. Tapi nampak sangat menyelerakan. Jadi saya yang kebulur ambik kambing agak banyak. Haha.. Then ada sambal belacan and sambal yang kaler putih-putih macam yang ada kat kedai mamak tu.

Bila da ambil makanan semua dan duduk di meja, tuan rumah cakap duduk je, nanti diorang akan serve. Manalah kitaorg tau kalo tak diberitau kan. And waiter tu letak lauk kat meja kami. And after eating lauk kambing tu, terasa sangat-sangat sedap. So apa lagi, dengan muka tak malunya, ratah lauk kambing and ayam goreng. Sungguh tak malu. Hehe

Bila dah kenyang, kami di jemput masuk semula. Katanya nak tukar-tukar hantaran dan ada upacara 'segen' ke apa, i dont know how to spell. So duduklah tunggu pengantin perempuan turun. Bila dia turun, my cousin were asked to sit beside her dekat pelamin. Then tangkap-tangkap gambar and startlah upacara 'segen' tu. Kami yang taktau apa-apa tengoklah macamana orang-orang tua pihak keluarga perempuan ni buat. Upacara ni involve suap-suap manisan kat kedua pihak and letak duit kat kain yang diletakkan kat atas peha kedua pasangan. Mula-mula pusing duit atas kepala, then letak duit, and suapkan manisan. Nasib baik ada almond and kismis dalam banyak-banyak manisan yang ada tu, my cousin bisik suruh bagi almond. Dah tak larat nak makan manisan kot. Tunang dia pulak bisik suapkan dia kismis je. Haha boleh tak.. At first, i dont want to do it tapi since my uncle mintak tolong and dah siap-siap bagi each one of us envelope berisi duit, i do it. Terasa sangat kekok and macam culture hindu pon ada but it was fun.

Habis upacara tu, pasangan ni siap pergi tukar baju ok. Bila da tukar baju, baru sarung cincin. Lepas sarung cincin, potong kek pulak. Quite long jugak majlis diorang ni sampai saya rasa penat sangat-sangat. Bila duduk-duduk tunggu semua nak settle, diorang serve manisan. Makanan mereka i guess. Sedap jugak. Tapi taktau nama. Bila semua dah settle, semua pon da balik dulu sebab belum zuhur, tinggal my family and my uncle's family je. My mom cakap dah boleh balik sebab da angkat hantaran semua. Bila kaki nak melangkah keluar je, guess what, diorang start menari. Teruja sekejap. Betul2 macam pertunangan ala bollywppd yang kita tengok dalam cerita hindustan tu. Haha. Budak-budak yang menari. Tapi sempat tengok sikit je sebab dah tak larat. Overall, it was new and fun experience.

Macam-macam budaya ada di malaysia ni rupanya..hehe

    my cousin and his fiancee. teruja tengok baju perempuan yang macam jenis2 yang kajol pakai. haha..and my cousin pon pakai baju ala-ala salman khan gitu.. nice..hehe

A simple answer that make my day

My sister lives in shah alam for a while when his husband took a week leave from work in sabah. There's a shop near her apartment that sells a lot of halal food includes frozen food etc2.

So today i texted her, "Akak, nanti nak balik subang tolong belikan rotab.."

Unexpected answer i can say,

" Rotab tu apa? Roti ke?"

me, laughed so hard before i answer her,

" oi..kurma lah....."

She text again.. "serbuk kurma ke?"

me? want to laughed and cry at the same time... hahahhaha

Rotab tu, bagi yang seangkatan dengan my sister, buah kurma basahlah... hahaha

My latest craving

I love to read cook book. Read, not looking for any recipe to do. Yelah, mana tau tiba-tiba tengok gambar and datang hidayah nak buat kan. I took majalah rasa from my mom's room and started to look at the recipe. Actually, the picture. hehe. Majalah rasa at that month were showing juadah jamuan raya. And i saw nasi ambeng. And i suddenly drools.. Orang jawa cakap ngences. haha. To be frankly, i never knew about the existence of nasi ambeng until i meet my husband. He told me about it when he was away on offshore. And that day was during fasting month. I remember the day i went to bazaar ramadhan in subang. I saw nasi ambeng for the first time so i bought it. Beli kat subang memanglah mahal kan. Bila time berbuka, rasa nasi ambeng for the first time.

"Sedap..." But again, i thought because it was breaking fast, apa pon sedap. For those who didnt know, nasi ambeng consist of plain rice, lauk either ayam goreng or kicap, sambal goreng jawa, ikan masin, serunding, kerabu, meehon/mee. Frankly, i was shocked to eat so much lauk with nasi, takde kuah and meehon/mee. Mana pernah budak bandar ni makan nasi berlaukkan meehon/mee. Jakun kejap.

Then after that, bila dah kawen, makan dengan en suami. Teringat rasa nasi ambeng tu sekarang..Makan kat kampung, pure orang jawa yang masak. Memanglah sedap. And again, masa tu buka puasa. And i remember that we went back to kl during fasting month. So we decided to start our journey petang-petang sikit so that tak rasa haus and lapar sangat. hehe. We went to the bazaar and bought some food which include nasi ambeng. Masa half journey, berenti bukak puasa, and both of us berebut-rebut makan nasi ambeng dalam kereta. Hehe. And when i asked my husband whether he remember that moment, he said he remember and that is one of our sweet memories. And lesson learned, makanan akan jadi lebih sedap kalau kita makan berebut-rebut dengan orang yang kita sayang. hehehe.

So ya, my latest craving is Nasi Ambeng.. Mana nak cari kat subang ni rasa yang sama macam orang jawa buat ye.. Tak susah nak buat tapi nak dapat rasa yang sama tu susah. Haih..

Kerabu Mangga

I'm suddenly craving for kerabu mangga so i asked my dad to buy mangga muda. And i make it today. Erm rasa mestilah tak macam kat kedai. But okla.. cuma terlebih udang kering and gajus tergoreng hangus. haha.. basically rasa masih ada masam2 and pedas sikit..hehe. However, dalam pic tak nampak menarik sangat. Those yang nak buat senang je, bahan-bahan kena ada mangga muda, carrot, cili padi, bawang (i didnt put it since dah tak boleh bau bawang sangat), udang kering (tumbuk kasar), sos ikan, gajus (tak letak pon takpe), garam and gula. Gaul2 and tadaaa.. ini hasilnya.. Nampak macam nasik pon ada..haha

Mix feelings

Lately, im thinking about my life in the future. I'll be moving to johor to be with my husband. I feel excited and scared at the same time. Im excited that i'll finally will start life with my husband, build our home together and make our own decision but scared that i'll leave my entire life here, in subang. I have been in subang my whole life. My family and friends were all here. I have no one in johor except my husband. So ya, i'm scared. My life would be bored if my husband went to work. He didnt work normal hours like others. Pegi pagi, balik malam. So he'll be tired. Dah susah nak ajak keluar jalan-jalan. hehe.

But i guess, there's always a beggining in everything we do. I remember the day I took driving classes. Getting the license. I'm scared but i want to have license so that i can drive anywhere, anytime i want. So i did it. I guess this situation would be the same. Scared to start over but everthing will turn out fine. (am motivate myself-i can do it).

So johor, please..please be nice to me.. Please be the place i would love and comfortable to be besides my hometown, subang. hehe. And en suami, please be understanding if I'm cranky at times when im in johor. I'll be leaving subang, the place i live my entire life for u. Hehehe

Cakap-cakap ni macam esok je nak pindah. Padahal rumah pon tak start renovate lagi. hehe

Bismillah 5

 

I copied this from one blog but i can't remember where. I wanted to share this with others,

 

 

 

 

 

Antara KHASIAT Bismillah 5 :

• penawar bisa diri
• penawar kepada penyakit bisa-bisa tulang
• penawar bisa-bisa badan
• penawar bisa batu merian
• boleh digunakan untuk mengubati sakit yang tidak diketahui puncanya

Cara MENGAMALKAN Bismillah 5 :

1. letakkan tangan di tempat yang sakit, tarik nafas, baca Bismillah 5 tujuh kali kemudian tiup tempt tadi, kemudian baru tiup di air; atau
2. kalau tempat sakit tu tak boleh diletakkan tangan krn sakit atau sukar utk meletakkannya, letakkan tangan di anggota lain dengan penumpuan hati dan perasaan bahwa tempat tersebut adalah anggota yang sakit.

JIKA.....

Dengan mengamalkan Bismillah Enam dan Bismillah Lima akan menyebabkan segala jenis racun menjadi tawar serta tidak mendatangkan mudharat jika terminum. Gelas yang dipegang oleh pengamal Bismillah Enam dan Bismillah Lima akan pecah dengan sendirinya jika kandungannya mengandungi racun dengan izin ALLAH..

And from what i heard from others, bismillah 5 ni jugak boleh dijadikan ayat pendinding diri dari anasir2 yang tidak baik. Amalkan setiap kali selepas solat ataupun sekurang-kurangnya selepas sembahyang subuh & maghrib. Wallahualam

Selamat Hari Guru

Harini 16 Mei, maknanya hari guru. Teringat dulu zaman sekolah rendah. Saya selalu mintak mak or ayah belikan bunga or coklat nak bagi kat cikgu sebagai tanda perhargaan.

Bila masuk sekolah menengah, hanya awal-awal beli hadiah untuk bagi cikgu masa hari guru. Selepas tu harga ucapan 'selamat hari guru' diberi pada guru. Bila masuk universiti, ucapan tu hanya kadang-kadang diucap.

Saya sangat appreciate jasa guru-guru yang pernah mengajar saya. Saya takkan dapat sijil-sijil kalau bukan sebab mereka. Terima kasih cikgu.

Cakap pasal cikgu, cikgu yang paling saya ingat dan terkesan kat hati saya, Cikgu Azni, cikgu matematik masa saya tingkatan 1 or 2..Tak ingat tingkatan berapa, tapi masa tu dia masih muda dan ajar tuisyen kat saya dan rakan-rakan. And cara dia treat anak murid dia pon macam kawan-kawan.

Satu benda yang saya ingat pasal cikgu ni, kadang-kadang ada soalan yang kiteorang tak reti jawab, and dia pon kadang terconfuse. So solution, kami sama-sama buat soalan tu sampai dapat jawapan. Kalau tak dapat jugak, kadang-kadang dia tanya isteri dia yang masa tu still belajar kat UKM.

Kenapa saya masih ingat nama dia? Entah, mungkin sebab cara dia yang sempoi dan macam kawan-kawan. Terpikir, mana ye dia sekarang.. Masih mengajarkah. Terasa teringin nak jumpa balik cikgu ni.

Apa-apa pon, Selamat Hari Guru kepada guru-guru.. Jasamu dikenang dan pergorbananmu tak ternilai dengan wang ringgit. Each of your student who successful and become who they become is all because of you. Thank you.

Kain putih dah jadi kain bercorak

Dulu masa masih kecil, masih belajar di tadika dan tidak reti membezakan yang mana bagus, yang mana tak bagus, orang tanya,

"Adik nanti besar nak jadi apa?"

"Tak tau..Nak jadi pramugari kot. Dapat naik kapal terbang hari-hari.."

Realitinya, masih kecil dan  taktau pekerjaan lain yang best selain pramugari.

Bila darjah satu, bila sesi suai kenal, orang selalu akan tanya,

"Best tak belajar kat sekolah?"

"Best"

"Kenapa?"

"Ada kawan ramai.."

"Cita-cita nak jadi apa bila besar nanti?"

still, jawapan masih sama.. "Pramugari.."

"Kenapa?"

"Dapat naik kapal terbang. Dapat melancong merata tempat dengan free.."

Pasti ramai yang tertanya-tanya macam mana boleh tau pasal pramugari. Masa kecil dulu, masa ayah saya masih baru dalam business, ayah berkongsi pejabat dengan sepupu kepada sepupu emak. Dan aunty ni selalu bawa saya pergi makan-makan bila ayah dan mak sibuk. Selalunya dia bawak saya berjumpa anak-anak buahnya yang ada seorang bekerja sebagai pramugari dan not to be surprise, semua adik-adiknya jadi pramugari sekarang.

So being a naive little girl, disogokkan dengan kenyataan yang jadi pramugari boleh terbang di awan biru adalah sesuatu yang sangat mengujakan.

Naik darjah 4 atau 5, masuk persatuan dan bila mana waktu suaikenal, cikgu akan suruh perkenalkan diri dan apakah cita-cita bila dewasa nanti,

"Nama saya Azliza. Anak kedua dari 3 adik-beradik. Cita-cita saya bila besar nanti nak jadi peguam.."

Mana pulak dapat tau pasal peguam? Bila masih kecil kita kan didedahkan dengan tv. Dari situ secara tak langsung kita akan kenal pekerjaan-pekerjaan yang kita, yang waktu itu akal masih belum matang, rasa kerja itu profesional dan sangat hebat.

Jawapan kepada pertanyaan nak jadi apa bila dewasa masih sama sampailah tingkatan 1. Bila masuk tingkatan 2, bila dapat tahu yang nak jadi peguam kena mahir subjek sejarah, jawapan kepada pertanyaan itu bertukar.

"Nak jadi akauntan.." itu jawapan saya.

Sebabnya? Saya dibesarkan dalam keluarga yang ada latar belakang akaun dan business. Ayah dulu belajar dalam bidang business/akaun. Mak, dalam bidang akaun. And both of them are working in accounting field sebelum masing-masing berhenti untuk menjalankan perniagaan sendiri. Manakala uncle saya merupakan antara nama yang dikenali dalam bidang banking. Which is part of accounting field. Dan masa saya di sekolah menengah, cousin saya meneruskan dalam bidang akaun. Diri yang naif yang tidak tahu nak jadi apa setelah habis belajar hanya mengikut apa yang didedahkan. Accounting seems nice. Just go with the flow, kata orang. Lagipon kakak saya pon teruskan belajar dalam accounting field.

Bila lepas PMR, orang suruh pilih aliran apa nak, cousin saya yang lain yang ceburi dalam bidang medic tanya, kenapa tak ambil aliran sains, jawapan saya, "Tak minat.."

Padahal dalam diri ni tak yakin dengan diri sendiri boleh score in bio, physics and chemistry. Jadi ambil la aliran semi sastera which basically all basic subject plus econ, add maths and accounts.

Bila orang tanya nak jadi apa, diri ini masih blur. Masih taktau nak jadi apa. Jadi jawapan selamat,

" Nak jadi orang berjaya.."

"Jadi orang berjaya macamana?"

"Berjaya in all aspectlah.."

"Oh, ada kereta, rumah sendiri ke, macam tu.."

"Ya, maybe..."

Habis SPM, diri macam terkapai-kapai so mintak advice dari uncle.. Dia bagi suggestion actuary science, accounting, interior design based on my result.

Saya, sebagai orang yang terdedah dengan bidang account dan business rasa macam nak lari dari kebiasaan. Mula nak pilih interior design since my uncle cakap, it's not about design je. Kena pandai maths jugak. Tapi diri ini percaya, rasa macam tak cukup kreatif untuk masuk bidang design-design. So pilihlah actuary science as first choice and if i'm not mistaken, accounting as 3rd choice.

Bila keluar result kemasukan ipta, agaknya sudah tertulis, macamana kita cuba lari dari kebiasaan, kalau sudah ditakdirkan, kita tetap tak boleh lari. bak kata orang, if it meant to be, it meant to be. Saya ditawarkan diploma perakaunan.

So i go with the flow walaupon hati memberontak. Dalam kelas hati hanya separuh-separuh. Tak suka belajar ni, so ambil mudah semua benda. Bilamana 1st sem diwajibkan dapat at least 3.00 cgpa since saya belajar diploma fast track, saya hanya tetapkan diri belajar ala kadar. Belajar hanya sekadar lulus dan dalam hati mintak agar pointer saya at least 3.00 sebab taknak kena buang ke branch dan terus dengan diploma biasa. Bila kita belajar setakat apa yang kita nak, memang itulah yang kita dapat.

Masuk sem 3 or 4, mula rasa sangat tak best dan nak berhenti. Tapi sebab mak mintak teruskan, jadi teruskanlah sampai habis diploma. Habis diploma, rasa nak ambil bidang lain tapi nak keluar dari uitm sebab rasa banyak subjek yang tak relevan pon terpaksa ambil, unlike private college. So, berehat dekat setahun sebagai tanda rebellious. Nak masuk private ayah macam taknak bagi. 

Bila da setahun tak buat apa mula rasa macam sampah masyarakat. So apply jela degree kat ipta. So, guess what, dapat lagi bidang account. Kali ni degree in accountancy pulak. Bila da berhenti belajar lama, otak agak beku. Kata pada diri, kalau ada 1 subjek fail, berhenti teruslah. Agaknya Allah nak tunjuk inilah bidang saya kena ceburi jugak. Saya antara less than 25 people the whole batch of 70 plus yang pass this one killer subject walaupon betul-betul atas par. So again, teruskan jelah..

Masa ni saya dah putus asa. Dalam hati rasa, takpelah, belajar jelah apa pon. Tak minat pon takpe. Asal nanti habis belajar dapat degree dan boleh dapat kerja.

Bila dapat degree, kerja dalam bidang yang dulu sangat tak disukai. Tak kisahlah, asal tiap-tiap bulan dapat gaji.

Tapi dalam hati masih terpikir, bidang apa yang saya minat sebenarnya. Dan semua yang kat luar tengah bekerja tu, diorang kerja dalam bidang yang diorang minat ke?

Sekarang, kalau orang tanya, cita-cita dah tercapai ke?

"Ntah...Sebab saya tak confirm cita-cita saya apa.."

Kalau orang tanya lagi, "Cita-cita sekarang apa?"

"Nak jadi orang biasa-biasa yang hidup dia sederhana tapi takde yang kurang, ada keluarga yang bahagia dunia dan akhirat. Ada anak, insyaAllah.. Kalau kena kerja pon takpe, sebab nak tanggung hidup kat dunia ni. Dah tak kisah minat ke tak.. Tapi saya macam minat bidang bakery sekarang ni.."

Kalau orang tanya lagi, "Macamana progress?"

"InsyaAllah, in progress jadi orang yang bahagia.."

In short, bila kita masih kecil, pengaruh orang dan keadaan sekeliling memang mempengaruhi.. Sebab tu lah orang cakap anak kecil itu ibarat kain putih. Kita yang dewasa yang mencorakkan. InsyaAllah kalau anak depan mata nanti, saya nak corakkan dengan corak-corak yang menarik. InsyaAllah..

Mood: cant hardly wait

When I was still a child or maybe a teenagers, everytime when us, one family went out, and my mother wanted to go to kitchen section to look around new plates or simply to buy a new knife, i put my boring face.

Or i went to other section such as stationary or anywhere they sell cds or anything. I feel so bored that sometimes i blurt out," ala, mak ni asyik nak tengok pinggan je.."

And guess what....

Now, getting older and married, and going to move in into a new house with husband, (ya, i still live with my family since my husband wasnt always around), I became my mother. And now, i understand what she feels everytime she saw a new plate with beautiful design.

Everytime we went to shopping complex, I tend to go to the kitchen section. Eventhough I havent buy any new plates for my new house, it just make me happen to have the feelings that one day i am going to have all kinds of plates, pan or any kitchen related on my own. I bought my new blender last year and I cant wait to finally use it in my new home. Oh ya btw, i'm moving to johor latest end of this year or next year..InsyaAllah..

It is nice to have the feelings that finally i am going to live with my husband and future kids in our own home without anyone else. Seriously, I cant hardly wait because i have been married for a year and half and we havent really be in our own house where no parents or in law. I mean living in a house where only both of us and our future kids live. It scary but exciting at the same time. Finally, nak pakai seluar pendek dalam rumah pon tak kisah malu kat parents/in law.hehe

Now, i'm anxiously waiting for my husband to come home so that we could start renovation. Cepatlah balik en suami..

                parking dalam rumah nak dapat feel wpon blum pindah lagi..hehe

Bila Waktu Berakhir

This song make me touched.. The lyric was too meaningful to be ignored..

"Bagaimana kau merasa bangga..akan dunia yang sementara...."

"Bagaimanakah bila semua..hilang dan pergi..meninggalkanmu..."

"Bagaimanakah bila saatnya..waktu terhenti tak kau sedari..."

From my perspective, this song is like a reminder to us about death or after life.. All of us going to leave this world to meet our creator..

I listened to this song over and over and it makes me cry..Frankly, I found this video while thinking some things that happen yesterday night..

Yesterday night was quite a hectic when I found out that my late grandfather's sister, whom I called 'tok mami' can't speak and my auntie and uncle thought she's having a strok..

She cant speak, Macam lidah tergulung macam tu. I cant really think straight at that time. I am afraid if something happen to her. Luckily, my cousin is a doctor. However he's not here. His wife is also a doctor so my uncle let her know and asked her to come to his house immediately.

She checked tok mami and said that she's not having a strok but from her condition, she might having a hypoglycemia or low blood sugar whereby there is an abnormally diminished content of glucose in the blood. My cousin's wife (kak nurin) said it might be because she doesnt eat but she's eating a diabetic pills.

When we reached my uncle's house, they already lift tok mami to be brought to emergency room. So we headed to sdmc. When they lift tok mami to the strecther, she saw my mom and me but couldnt say our name. It's like she's forgot our name. But kak nurin said she gave livita to tok mami and she took a few sip. After drink a few sip only she could speak. Otherwise, she couldnt speak and couldnt remember anything.

We waited for the doctor to checked her and kak nurin went inside with her. Kak Nurin explained to the doctor and when they checked, the reading for glukose was 1.9 whereby a normal reading is 4. That's the reason why tok mami couldnt speak properly..

We waited a few hours while they insert some glukose to tok mami and Alhamdullillah she's fine. She could speak properly but still cant really remember what had happen to her.

Today, she's quite fine as we were forcing her to drink livita. Alhamdullillah..

Different story, I called my sister in law today and she told me that my husband's niece is getting better. Alhamdullillah, another good news. She could eat now unlike before, she doesnt want to eat before. Talking with my sister in law, I notice that her tone was quite different from before.

Before, I can sense a worry tone but today, I sense a quite relieved tone with a hope that her daughter will be fine. I told her that I may not understand her feeling fully but when I was in her condition in that time I know the feeling. "Rasa macam esok dah nak mati dah..", I told her. And she said, "It is..It is.." Sometimes when we're put in the condition where other people dont experience, it mature us.. We know what to expect when others feel the exact same thing..

I guess lesson that I can learn here is, we couldnt even imagine what will happen to us in the future. What we could do is pray for the best for us and our family, InsyaAllah..

Prayer for a little girl

I didnt tell many people what I've been through last year when I had miscarriage. Doctor suspected me having a "L" diseases based on the first blood test result. Frankly, I've heard about the diseases but never know what it is about. On top of that, I had infection, "T". Having a "L" diseases could lead to many other infection since the body is not capable to identify what kind of bacteria is good or bad for the system.

"L' is a diseases that most doctor can conclude cannot be cured for life but can be controllable. Which means when one had diagnosed as a "L" patient, he/she will have to go through their life with that diseases not knowing when it will makes they sick because it can attack anytime, anywhere.

What trigger my memories is of being suspected having a "L" is that, I just found out that my husband's niece, a 6 years old kid was diagnosed as a "L" patient. My heart broke when i heard that. Tears were running down my cheeks.

This is because, I was once being in that kind of situation. I cant even imagine what my sister in law feel at that moment. What i know and from what i've observed from my mother when i told her that doctor suspected me having a "L" and infected by "T", I saw her face changed when I told her that. Since I didnt really know what is "L" , I googled and I told her. I know she couldnt sleep at night.

The doctor gave me medicine for "T" for a month. And for a month, she asked me to eat balanced diet which includes a lot of protein, brisk walk for 45minutes everyday. She told me that if I had "L", it is quite hard for me to get pregnant since I will be given steroid to control my body system. So I asked again, "memang susah nak pregnant, tak boleh pregnant langsung ke?" She answer, "I have a patient that had miscarriage 8 times and when she saw me, she was diagnosed with "L". I have to give her some medicine tapi dia pregnant jugak. Susah masa awal-awal tu. Tapi sorang je anak dia. Tapi kita doa you tak kenalah penyakit ni. Sebab kalau kena I have to refer you to the specialist. Nanti bulatlah you sebab kena makan steroid. Bila dah controllable baru boleh pregnant."

Every word the doctor said at that moment was just like a bom to my face. I think I feel better if she could just stabbed my in the heart and let me die immediately other than having to face the reality. I dont have anyone I could pour my heart at that moment. My husband was currently at offshore at that moment. And when I told him, I expected him to react. But since he was burden by work and never heard about "L", he didnt react as what I expected him to react. I cant really tell him that I could die if I really have "L". And I cant really share my feelings with my mother because I know if I tell my mother, it will burden her even more. I know she couldnt sleep at night thinking of me. She copied my result and gave it to my cousin. She even brought the copy to the clinic we used to go. And the doctor we used to see tell her that based on the result, my result was higher that normal person but below the actual patient with "L". She's the one who introduced me with one supplement. She told my mother that I should try to eat it 6 pills a day, 2 pills at one time.

I still remember when my husband being called during puasa and he has to spend raya working offshore. At that time my husband told me that he has a replacement during raya. So i was excited and waited for him to come back. Turn out that his replacement was not been approved by their client. I cried, of course, and to console me, he said that it's ok, there will always been next year. We could spend raya together next year. And that moment, I feel rage and all the pain I keep, I burst out with a sentence, "kalau ada hidup sampai next year, kalau tak, takdelah..." I dont know why but at that time, I feel that the sentence of, 'next year', 'lain kali', 'nanti-nanti' is not in my diary.

After he get back, I know he does feel like he has to be there for me. So he always accompany me to the clinic. I remember when he's not here when I have to go through this one very painful procedure for me. I went to the clinic alone since my mother was not around and i never thought the doctor will done that. I thought she will just check me and give me some medicine. After that procedure, I didnt know that i feel so sick that I barely can stand, let alone drive. I feel so cold but i am sweating like I've been running 10km. But since I'm alone, kamikaze lah masa tu. Nak call kakak mintak tolong ambik macam dah tahan nak tunggu. So, redah je since the clinic and my house were not far. I was bleeding at that time I reached home. Tau tak sakit period pain macamana. Macam tu lah rasa sakitnya, times 10. I eat panadol, and I recite doa and I try to close my eyes to sleep so that I wont feel anything when i sleep. When I told my mother, she scolded me. Yelah macamana kalau tiba-tiba pengsan tengah jalan kan. And of course, i've been scolded by my husband too. Tapi at that time, I couldnt think. I dont want to burden anyone. Alhamdullillah, with all the pain procedure that I've been through, and consuming the medicine for "T" for several times and  supplement that I never missed, I'm getting better.

Hearing about my husband's niece who is just 6 years old really broke my heart. I know what I've been through. All the nights that I've been through and feeling the pain alone. I didnt told anyone that I cried everytime I prayed. And I know it came to my senses, 'bila sakit baru nak mengadu kat Allah...bila sihat selalu lupa pada Dia'. Sometimes, I even cried when I feel so sick that I barely can sleep,

if me, at that time, 26 years old couldnt bear the pain (eating the supplement does makes me feel a lot of pain since that supplement helps in building a stronger immune system), I dont want even imagine what a 6 year old girl been through. And she has been treated with steroid since she has an aggresive "L" attack, unlike me.. Which means, I only experience half the pain she's been through.

I tried to help by going to the clinic and asked whether she could be given the supplement. The doctor said, she could but since she is given steroid, the doctor has to call someone that experience the same things and she will get back to me. So the only thing I could do now is praying for the health of this little child and I beg for everyone's mercy who is reading this, please do pray for the health of this little child.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, aku tau yang Kau tahu yang terbaik untuk hamba-hambamu. Tapi kurangkanlah penderitaan anak kecil itu. Sembuhkanlah dia, sihatkanlah dia, Engkau yang menyembuhkan, tidak ada penyembuhan selain penyembuhanMu, penyembuhan yang tidak meninggalkan penyakit.Tabahkanlah ibu bapanya, saudara maranya untuk menempuh dugaan ini, Ya Allah, Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Pemurah.

Amin Ya Rabbilalamin...



Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286.

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Ia mendapat pahala (dari kebajikan) yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat siksa (dari kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya. (Mereka berdoa): "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tak sanggup kami memikulnya. Beri ma'aflah kami; ampunilah kami; dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah Penolong kami, maka tolonglah kami terhadap kaum yang kafir."

Weighing machine

I went out today with my mother and sister. We went out to PKNS and SACC to buy some stuff. There, I saw something that makes me remind the funny part of my life that I shared with my husband. I guess when someone you love were apart from you (his currently work offshore), you tend to find every single things that could remind you of him/her.

Can someone guess what kind of things that I saw?

It was... weighing machine..haha.. Not the simple one yang boleh timbang berat tu, yang boleh ukur tinggi sekali tu..

I still remember that day where my husband and I went to Plaza Alam Sentral to look for my engagement dress as at that moment we were not hitched yet.

He saw the machine and spontaneously said something like this, "Kalau bb naik ni and kalau machine tu boleh cakap, dia cakap, 'Naik sorang-sorang, jangan naik ramai-ramai.." And he laughed so hard.

 I know he's joking but at that moment, I wanted to get even so I spontaneously and jokingly said, "Ala, kalau abg naik, machine ni cakap, 'Berdiri, jangan duduk..." And he laughed even harder. We both laughed so hard that people pass by were looking at us with the looks, 'Gila ke apa diorang ni..' hahaha

I said to him, that if we didnt know each other, mesti dua-dua dah kecik hati. Nasib baik dah kenal yang masing-masing suka buat lawak and kenakan each other.. Haih.. seriously missing the beautiful moment with my beloved husband...

Hormon

Being a girl..eyh a woman? Mcm tua sangat..Ah it doesnt matter. So i start again..hehe

Being a girl/woman I use hormon as the excuse when i feel angry and sad by sudden. I mean betul kan. Perempuan bila nak datang bulan ke pregnant ke, hormon is all over the place. Jadi tiba-tiba boleh rasa sedih. Tiba-tiba jugak boleh rasa nak marah. Pantang orang buat salah sikit, terus rasa nak marah. Padahal selalunya ok je..

Bila guna excuse ni kat suami, die pernah cakap, "Kesian hormon tu, asyik disalahkan je.." But hey, perempuan-perempuan di luar sana, betul tak, bila kita nak datang bulan or preggy, we cant really control our emotion? Tiba-tiba rasa nak marah, lepas marah, tiba-tiba menyesal, dan tiba-tiba juga boleh menangis. Kadang orang cakap dengan nada keras sikit dah boleh menangis ingat kena marah. haha

Nasib baik ketua keluarga ialah suami. Kalo kita, fuh..keputusan banyak berdasarkan emosi pada waktu itu.. Jadinya, sapa setuju yang suami kena banyak bersabar bila isterinya tengah hormon bercelaru angkat kaki tangan anda..haha

Kenangan manis kau dan aku..

My husband called me at about 2am++ today to let me know that he's going back to kampung for a while as he has to be in jb by 8am.. So we talked.. And when he reached his destination, it was about 3.40am++.   I only realised it at about 630 am as it is my biological clock to get up and pray. So i text him and he call me.

We talked about things and he said he that he was hungry. At that moment, i suddenly remembered the time when we travel the whole day from terengganu to his kampung at about 7pm and reached there at about almost 7am the next day.. Which is approximately 12 hours journey. Ok, maybe i should explain, we were backpacking to kuantan, terengganu and we want to go to cherating but there's emergency in kampung the day we reached terengganu so we headed straight from terengganu to muar. And before reached house, both of us were hungry so we plan to stop at any place to eat. But since it was before 6am, we couldnt find any place that open that early. Suddenly, my husband find a place, so we stop and eat. After a while, we try to find that place again but we cant remember where is it and my husband jokingly said, "jangan kedai bunian sudah.." haha

And you know what, at that moment while talking with my husband, i was thinking about all the sweet memories we have together despite of living separately as husband and wife. I told him that i wanted to eat roti canai pagi2 with him just like we had done. It's not the roti canai i miss. The environment and the moment that i miss. Makan roti canai n minum air kopi pagi2 buta bila langit still gelap and bila habis makan da starting sunrise is the moment i wouldnt trade for anything. It just a simple thing i've done but i cant forget it as i do it with the person i love.

And remembering about 'makan roti canai pagi2' makes me remember every moment i went through with my husband..

The day where he told me he loves me so much at the top of the roof while watching sunset..Haih sangat cair time tu..

Or the day where we finally had our best honeymoon after a year of marriage at langkawi. We didnt go to many place. We just live in that moment. Makan cendol n laksa bawah pokok menghadap pantai..best best..

Or the moment where both of us were shocked when we order at turki restaurant as the waitress brought 2 big plate of food. Mula2 bawak 2 pinggan kosong which makes both of us puzzled but didnt say anything as taknak orang tu cakap kiteorg jakun. Hahaha. Bila datang makanan, mak aih, ini bukan untuk makan 2 orang..5 orang pon boleh. Patutlah mahal. And guess what, both of us were thinking the same thing but as we were in our honeymoon, he doesnt want money to get into we having fun. The other funny part is that, both of us mana reti makan makanan turki and since they gave us fork and spoon, we use it to eat the food with bread. Roti arab kan ala2 liat so agak susahla nak potong. The waitress saw the difficulties so she said, roti tu makan pakai tangan lagi senang sebab liat kan.. Haha..Nampak sangat jakun tak pernah makan makanan turki padahal dah berlakon konon-konon nampak sangat confident selalu makan makanan tu..Taktau apa waitress tu pikir lagi..hahaha

The same day, he wanted to surprise me with candle light dinner but as i asked him repeatedly where he'd go, he gave up and told me and said that i ruined his surprise. haha sorry sayang. Dah boleh agak sebenarnya..And masa makan tu, perut still penuh sebab makanan turki tu tak hadam lagi. Tapi makan jugak sebab banyak course. And lagi sekali kena tegur masa makan salad dengan tuna. The waitress said," kalau gaul salad tu lagi sedap sebab ada letak olive oil..".. Inilah kalau orang tak reti makan western2 ni cuba makan western..kat hotel lagi..Malu je..haha

Bila terpikirkan kenangan manis macam ni, tiba-tiba teringat pulak lagu jamal abdillah dengan ogy ahmad daud.. "kenangan manis kau dan aku takkan tergugur...duri ranjau dalam bercinta..lumrah dunia....sayang menyayang..cinta dikenang..perasaan menjadi rindu...wooo.." Cuba nyanyi, jangan baca baru feel..haha

I'm just feeling a bit jiwang right now.. But actually,sometimes when there's a moment where we had unsolved problem or some things that makes us feel said or tak puas hati with our spouse, we should stop for a moment to think about all the sweet memories we had with him/ her. And after that, kalau rasa marah jugak, agaknya kita ni hati batu..hahahaha..

Unforseen future

I heard some bad news last few weeks. My father's bestfriend lost his newborn grandaughter last month. I didnt know whether it's the nurse mistakes or whatsoever, but hearing a story like that making me blaming the hospital.

This event happen when the mom had denggi when she was 36 weeks pregnant. She been told that in order to make sure that the baby didnt get infected too is by doing a c-sect. So she agreed. After giving birth, the doctor did some test and said that the baby is free from denggi. The mom have to go through a blood transfusion since she had a severe denggi infection while the baby was in the incubator since she was prematured baby. The policy is when the baby is premature, she/he had to be in the incubator to be monitored.

After a week, the mom's condition getting better so she been discharged. On the 1st day being discharged, the mother went to the hospital to bf her daughter. After bf her daughter, she went home and a few minutes after that, the nurse call her asking her to went back to the hospital. It happen that the baby is too weak. Turn out that she had denggi and the nurse/doctor didnt realise it. And it became worst when the hospital doesnt has equipment to do some blood transfusion for the baby. They call gov hospital and being rejected since they're full with baby with denggi. SDMC came to the rescue when they agreed to treat the baby. But by that time, the baby is too weak to be saved. So she died when she was about 8 days old.

It may or may not be the hospital mistakes, but still, they should be prepared for the worst isnt it. They are dealing with lives.

What makes feel so sad is that she and her husband was waiting for a long time for a baby. For 3-4yrs to finally get pregnant. But i guess when it meant to be, it meant to be. Who are we to question what will happen in the future right.

I feel so sad and cried as it brings back the memories of mine when i had miscarriage. I couldnt even imagine what she will go through especially when she had to go through confinement without a baby.

And few days after that, through fb, i found out that one of my photographer during wedding's wife has just delivered a baby. A beautiful baby i can i say. I saw all the pic he posted which included his wife. A week after that i learned that his wife past away. It make me scared because it suddenly come to my senses that we will never knew our future. We may be happy but at the same time we may be sad. I couldnt imagine how he felt when he has a newborn daughter without his wife to share the happiness with.

One case, the mother survived but the baby did not. Another case, the baby survived but not the mother. Frankly, i know all of us going to die soon or later but when i learnt both story, it seriously make me scared as we never know what will happen to us.

Semoga Allah memberi petunjuk dan merahmati kehidupan kita di dunia ini, InsyaAllah.

Tangan gatal

Harini saya terasa macam tangan kanan gatal. Orang cakap bila gatal tangan kanan maknanya nak dapat duit. Tapi kalau cerita dekat mak saya dia akan cakap, "basuh tangan tak bersihlah tu.." hahaha

I guess logically memang jawapan mak saya tepat. Apa kaitan gatal tangan dengan dapat duit kan. Kadang-kadang memang banyak benda yang jadi yang dikaitkan dengan sesuatu yang tidak relevan. Contoh lain? Orang cakap bila baby baru lahir keluar air liur banyak, maknanya si ibu masa mengandung dulu tak fulfill makanan semasa mengidam. Sangat tidak berkait..

What i'm trying to say is, siapa yang reka dan kenapa sesuatu perkara yang tiada kaitan antara satu sama lain dikaitkan?